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Being a Burden

October 6, 2011 Leave a comment

“…man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.” ~ GAUDIUM ET SPES

I was recently talking with a friend who recounted how she was worried that she was being a burden; inconveniencing others by taking their time to help her with personal issues. Actually, I can think of three different friends who the above statement applies to. It seems to be a common concern among those with an appreciation for their friends’ kindness and a degree of selflessness. The worry stems from an understanding that they are occupying a considerable amount of their friends’ time and that they might not say anything even if they did feel burdened.

The details are bit fuzzy in my mind, but the conversation that I had with my friend went something like this:

Me: So why don’t you think they would tell you if you were being a burden?

Friend: Because I know if someone needed to talk to me I would never tell them that.

Me: Why not?

Friend: Because even if it was a burden I wouldn’t want them to stop coming to me.

Me: Why?

Friend: umm.. I don’t really know.

Me: Do you think that it might be because even if it was a burden, you would rather bear that burden then leave them alone or let them go without help?

Friend: yeah.

Me: So why can’t you accept that from other people?

Friend: I don’t know. It just seems different.

Me: It’s no different. Plus, you have to remember that when you allow them to help you when it’s inconvenient for them this is also their opportunity to live out the love that they were made for. When the other obligations of our life or our own personal needs require us to take a step back we will say so, but when we sacrifice our own convenience to spend time consoling or helping a friend in need we are growing in a way that we can’t on our own. Read more…

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